It all started about two years ago, my journey into menopause.
Well, I guess technically, it all started with my grandmother, back in the '70's when she got her diagnosis, but my personal journey started two years ago.
I originally got the BRCA testing to make my mom shut up, to make her quit harping on me to find out if I had a predisposition to ovarian cancer. I never gave a thought or much of a thought to what I would do with the results. Do the tests, find out, have it taken care of, go on with my life.
Um, did I mention this involves major surgery? That you go into instant menopause? That you have all the "wonderful" things associated with menopause? *insert eyeball roll here*
I had my testing, go the results back the week we were heading to Canada for the very first time with our drag car.
I do all the shopping for food, fixing all the food, loading the trailer with all our personal clothes, all the food....the list seems to go on..... and on... and on.....and not only that, I have to deal with finding out how to cross the border into and out of Canada, what items we can have, how much of these items, can I take the dog, what papers does she have to have, what kind of food I can take or not take--did you know you cannot take root vegetables into Canada from the U.S.? I do! Did you know you have to have a manifest of all your items? I do.
There are all sorts of rules and regulations going into and out of Canada from the States.
Doing this trip, however, is easier in some ways than regular events in the States. At least going into Canada everything I take has to either be in original containers or labeled with USDA stamps--product of USA.
So, most of what I take is already prepared--BBQ from Sam's Club, heat and eat type things, salads in sealed containers from the grocery stores, veggies already chopped in sealed containers, and so on. I don't fix anything ahead of time, just shop, load and go.
Oh, and on the Tuesday or Wednesday before we leave, I get this nice letter in the mail, in a nutshell, it tells me I am BRCA 2 positive. I can't stop to decipher what this means beyond I am at very high risk for ovarian cancer. Time to leave for Canada, gotta go, the semi waits for no one.
I tell my step daughter by text message, who else am I going to tell? I don't even remember telling my mom that week. I can't tell the guys--my husband knows, but his mind is on racing--can't tell either of my sons or the crew member that is with us--I text my step daughter. I had to spill my guts to someone.
Canada crossing goes fine, worried for nothing.
With our racing association, they always have a minister, her name is Renee. I am walking back from my shower or pee break or whatever the reason and I stop to talk to her, I spill my guts and bawl my eyes out. She was a great comfort and gave me some wise words to hold in my heart, she tells me that the diagnosis is a "gift wrapped in trash". It's great that I have the scientific knowledge to find out what the future holds for me, but it's trash that I have the diagnosis. What am I going to do? Well, Renee, I guess I am going to have my ovaries removed to hopefully prevent this disease from taking over my life.
July 2010 was my news, it takes me until January to have an appointment with a surgeon, March 2011 to have surgery. I had a breast MRI in November, maybe December of 2010, along with a pelvic ultrasound and trans vaginal ultrasound. I have touched on those in a previous post, no need to go into it here.
It's hard to believe it's been two years since my original BRCA diagnosis. I didn't even realize it until we were not heading to Canada this year and some of our other racing friends are. Sort of a bittersweet anniversary--two years from my original diagnosis and on top of that we are not racing this coming weekend and friend are. Sweet I have control over my life, over what fate has handed me.
I know some of this is a repeat of what I have already written down, I needed to write it again, for my sanity. I need to relive some of this to keep clear in my mind what has been done, what I have done, what my life was like "before" and what my life is like "after". I don't want my journey to be in vain, I want others to learn from this, that they have to take control over their lives, ask questions, take the initiative in their health care.
Am I home free from a cancer diagnosis? Hell no! Do I have to be pro active in my care? Hell yes!!
So, happy BRCA 2 anniversary to me *eyeball roll here*
Happy rest of my life, I sure as hell hope so!!
No comments:
Post a Comment