The surgeon my oncologist recommended is about half an hour from my home. I was given a couple options for appointment times, got that scheduled, then the Dr.'s office calls to do any preliminary paper work, once again. Not a problem until the nurse asks for symptoms. Once again, I have to go through the explanation I don't have symptoms, this is preventative.
I got to the OBGYN surgeon and immediately liked her. Her bedside manner is nice enough, she had a firm handshake, got immediately to the point without being abrupt. Thank God I did not have to undergo any exam at this point!!!
She gave me my options, told me what she suggested, what she would do. We chatted about it and decided the bilateral salpingo oophorectomy was the way to go. She had the lab results, the family history, what other conclusion was there? I agreed to just the oophorectomy. She suggested looking at a bilateral mastectomy. For now, I can live with the risk of breast cancer. I am very built, a 40DD. Surgery and reconstruction would be massive, not just physically, but mentally. I already agreed to let her put me into menopause, there was no way she was going to take the ta-ta's too!!!
Now to set a date. Now, you have to keep in mind we begin our racing season at the end of January. My appointment was mid-January.
Her first suggestion, Feb. 14!! No way on God's green earth was I going to associate that holiday, even a "Hallmark" holiday like that one with having this surgery. A surgery, that for all intents and purposes, at least in my mind, would take out my "woman parts". March 14 became my surgery date.
Now, opinions differ. Among doctors, family, friends, you name it. Through all this, my mom was ramming--or so I felt--her opinion down my throat. I know she meant well, but still, it was a decision to be made between my husband and myself. She wanted me to see a specialist. A gynecological oncologist. And, on top of it all, the one she wanted me to see was probably just about four hours north of me. So, going to see him--which I wanted a female surgeon--was not all that feasible for me. It would have meant early days, late nights, and possibly even overnight to get up there and back. I was perfectly comfortable with my choices. Finally, when she talked with her Dr. about my surgery and I got the paper work telling me about this surgeon, just a print out of his practice, what he does, where he was located--general information--I had finally had it. I had to call her and tell her that what she was doing was making me really pissed off. That she had to back off and let us make our own decisions. That if I had cancer, I would probably look into see a g.o., but for now, I don't so let me make my own decision. It sound so nice here in black and white--it was much harder actually telling her.
So, I leave the surgeon's office loaded with paperwork, insurance information I have to work on from home, phone numbers, stuff I have to do the day of surgery, all sorts of information. Still, it hasn't really sunk in what menopause will be, what it will be like, will I wake up feeling the same, will I feel hollow, will I still be "me".
You can do all sorts of research on line, but until it's you, it's all different, it's someone else's body, not yours.
I spent a lot of time looking up BSO, menopause, sexual problems, vaginal dryness, mood changes, hormone replacement, no hormone replacement, hot flashes, night sweats.........the list seemed like doomsday some times. Trying to be informed, some times even being overwhelmed by opinions--they are just like ass-holes~~everyone has one!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment