Backstory, pt. 2

I guess now it's time to meet my mom, Claudia. 


She and I have had our ups and downs, as any other mother/daughter relationship has down through history. 


She has been my ally, confidante, enemy, friend, and many more things through our 45 years together.


She is the one who brought me to my decision to have a BSO.


Honestly, I did it all to shut her up.


She was on the frontlines watching her mother die of this horrible disease. She knows firsthand what it's like to watch someone die. For this reason, she is one of the strongest people I know.


For some reason, I have never told her this~~I guess it's way over due.


We all moved from Maryland to Illinois between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. Personally, I am torn between it being the worst decision my parents ever made to maybe one of the best.


It wasn't know at the time that my mom was having an affair. Yep, an affair. I said it. It took me from the time she left in 1983 to a visit to her home in 1991 to finally ask her why she did this to us, our family. Some of it was her, some of it was my dad, none of it was me. And for some reason, I never felt it was my fault. I was 17 when my parents divorced and I stayed with my dad, there was never any question as to it.


She married the man she had the affair with. Still, to this day, I will never understand why she chose someone with five, yes 5 kids, who ranged in age from grade school to high school when she had one kid that was already in high school. 


She help raise these five kids, is still married to the man and I still don't like him and he knows it. I tried, believe me, I tried to like him over the years. But he is a very controlling person. I don't think he has ever been physical with her, but he sure is emotionally controlling. 


But, thanks to him, and I will never admit it to anyone, she is still alive. Granted, I feel it's only for narcissistic reasons that he nursed her through her cancer, but she is still alive. If she died, there would be no one to care for him. He is a very needy person.


When she called me to tell me she had O.C., I really can't honestly tell you what I felt. It's been over three years now since her diagnosis and chemo treatments and in the years since, she has also had breast cancer. Fighter!!


She had already gone through menopause naturally. In her surgery, they took out everything they could--fallopian tubes, ovaries, appendix and everything else she didn't need. They didn't know how far the cancer cells had grown. She was stage 3c. What that means, in general terms, is that the cancer has spread to outside the ovaries, into the stomach lining, maybe the liver, into the lymph nodes. Five year survival rate is between 20%-50%. Not really great odds if you ask me.


Now I know why every time she gets her CA125 blood test, it's a party!!! 


CA125 is an enzyme that is a marker. You can't detect O.C. just from the blood test, you need to have transvaginal ultrasounds in addition.


A woman's yearly exam does not screen for O.C., only cervical. 


My mom is a mom, grandmother, wife and many more things. In my journey here, you will get to hear much more about her.